It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. ). Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes! "Dita Von Teese, Get out the toolbox, we're about to get hammered! 8. 5. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. See more ideas about Alcohol quotes, Funny, Alcohol. After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” —Humphrey Bogart, “I drink too much. Alcohol Captions “Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic” – Unknown “Drink triple, see double, act single” – Unknown “Watch me sip, watch me lay lay” – Unknown “Step aside coffee! Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress, 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and Sayings. If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. Top Ten Funny Alcohol Sayings “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. To me ‘Drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. There’s nothing that captures those. — Jean Kerr. This list is funny AF and will keep you going till you clock out. Discover Pinterest’s 10 best ideas and inspiration for Funny alcohol quotes. Alcohol raises the risk for cancer, and so drinking wine or hard liquor should be done in moderation, if at all. Alcohol Sayings and Quotes. This provides protection and a nice glossy finish. Funny Drinking QuotesDrink QuotesFunny Quotes About AlcoholBeing Silly QuotesQuotes About DrinkingDrinking CaptionsQuotes About WineFunny Thank You QuotesFunny Wine Quotes. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to … Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0 |. 6. Product sold by etsy.com. 35 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes And Sayings. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. Drinkers quotes range from the simple quip, to … Funny Quotes. 3. ― Joseph Schenck. You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KellysMagnets?search_query=gift+wrap, Anne Taintor insprired Menu Planner & Recipe Cards, Getting drunk can lead to many good things, but many bad things as well. You will find here top ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team. Alcohol Quotes - BrainyQuote. You have to hold onto them. This is a job for alcohol!” – Unknown It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —David Levithan, “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. Though we all know that drinking is not good for health but it is hard not to appreciate the creativity in these quotes written in favor of drinking. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old liquor quotes, liquor sayings, and liquor proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. I believe I’ll have another beer.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!” —Unknown, “My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.” —Mercedes McCambridge, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —Oscar Wilde, “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” —F. There are so many funny alcohol quotes that we keep coming across. Funny Drinking Quotes. Bar Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” … — Unknown. Here are 50+ Best Beer And Alcohol Quotes For The Perfect Instagram Caption. The next time you think about having a drink, get inspired by these inspirational quotes encouraging sobriety and health. 31 Super Funny Christmas Quotes about Alcohol & Cheer for 2019 museuly November 15, 2019 0 Comments. ― Henry Youngman. “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength but in whiskey is the water of life.” —, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. ). See TOP 10 alcohol one liners. “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” “Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.” “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” 2. Sayings Point is a website that has a huge collection of sayings on various topics. Funny alcohol quotes. Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —Luis Bunuel, “99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” —Quentin R. Bufogle, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” —Kaiser Wilhelm, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” —Benjamin Franklin, “I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.” —Oscar Wilde, “Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. “. HAPPINESS IS WHISKEY, Funny Bar Decor,Whiskey Quote,Whiskey Bar Art,Home Bar Decor,Alcohol Quote,Drink sign,But … Ernest Hemingway. 10. Margaret Cuomo. Finding the balance with alcohol can be tricky. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. 4. Steve Martin. Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”. Funny Alcohol Joke – 2 “Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. “When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. But how many are born because of it?” —, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —. What are we drinking? And I'm REALLY Injured - Video and Pics of FAILS from the night life and party scenes of the world. 5 out of 5 stars (470) 470 reviews $ 15.00. All sorted from the best by our visitors. 1. Apr 1, 2017 - Explore Trudy Ceccarelli's board "funny alcohol quotes", followed by 302 people on Pinterest. Still, most of us do it regardless of the potential outcome, it’s drink now, regret later. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. We are talking about funny alcohol quotes to help keep you motivated to finish work in time to enjoy a glass or two or three. It just sits there. 12. The other half i wasted.” —Unknown, “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —Frank Sinatra. I drink some beer and the world circles around … Drinkware and Barware. Scientists say they found it at … Humorous card by Holy Flaps Every weekend I say to myself, 'Susan, you have to stop drinking wine.'. Pin 441 In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings. … “Alcohol temporary fun with permanent consequences.”. Without further ado, here are some funny quotes and saying about drinking. Sometimes all you need to get through the workday are some random memes. '” ― Samuel L. Jackson Image discovered by J.B.1101. Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I made this magnet using a Tecre punch. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old alcohol quotes, alcohol sayings, and alcohol proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” —Henny Youngman, “I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” —Unknown, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —Kinky Friedman, “I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.” —W.C Fields, “If you drink to forget, please pay in  advance.” —Unknown, “Alcohol doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” —Homer Simpson, “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.” —Unknown, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. It makes a sturdy magnet with the design sealed behind mylar. The largest collection of alcohol one-line jokes in the world. Quote Of The Day Feeds. Like all good things in life, a little bit of something won’t harm your health, overdosing on alcohol will damage your liver, drink wisely. “ The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. 11. Alcohol makes everything funny, which is why we have the best and funny alcohol quote, alcohol jokes, and alcoholic jokes as well. Stainless steel Flasks with funny alcohol quotes Laser etched on them Perfect for Bachelorette parties Wedding party gifts weekend fun TheLaserPeople. 23 Funny, Sad and Inspiring Alcohol & Drug Addiction Quotes “I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say ‘Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.”. Scott Fitzgerald, “Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!” —Unknown, “You look like I need another drink.” —Unknown, “Good people drink good beer.” —Hunter S. Thompson, “Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.” —Unknown, “The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!” —Danny Jansen, “There are more old drunkards than old physicians.” —Bernard Shaw, “I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.” —Unknown, “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King, “Act single, see double, drink triple.” —Unknown, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —Unknown, “There is no bad whiskey. Anonymous. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” —Rodney Dangerfield, “Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.” —Unknown, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. See more of goodvibesandhightides’s content on VSCO. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Find images and videos about quote, life and fun on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. 30 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays Reader's Digest Editors Updated: Dec. 16, 2020 These witty words … Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts now! Most people use motivational quotes to get through the work week but we like to use funny alcohol quotes to keep us motivated for the weekend. The other half I wasted. Here is the most hilarious of them. But alcohol can’t talk. 14 Drinking Quotes to Remember if You Love Alcohol a Little Too Much It’s all fun and games until you wake up the next morning … By Katie Robinson April 17, 2018 But how many are born because of it?” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” —P. From shop TheLaserPeople. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” —William Butler Yeats, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. If this is a gift you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options. ... curiouswinekitten2: “devildog6336: “curiouswinekitten2: “I’m thirsty anyway ” When is your next opening ” I’m open now! Be inspired and try out new things.. Absolutely hillarious alcohol one-liners! If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them … ? ”. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. With funny drunk quotes from people like Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, to champagne wisdom from F. Scott Fitzgerald, to beer sayings from Plato, we’ve collected some of the best words on alcohol ever spoken. 7. Post Cancel. This fun magnet measures just over 3 inches (8cm). But alcohol can’t talk. It just sits there. Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Thankfully, I'm not Susan. 9. G. Wodehouse, “Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.” —Unknown, “Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.” —Unknown, “The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.” —Unknown, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —Unknown, “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” —Catherine Zandonella, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —Unknown, “All is fair in love and beer.” —Kurt Pardis, “The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.” —Unknown, “Everyone needs to believe in something. “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! On the other side is a magnet (as show in the last photo). “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same … Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Cant wait for my therapy session http://@Linzey Stratton Stratton Garza http://@Racheal Huffman Huffman Rodriguez http://@Adelaida Thompson Thompson Martinez - January 14, 2015 - #WORKLAD, Thank God For The Farmer Alcohol Bar Stencil. I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Wisdom Quotes. Someone from Kilgore, Texas, US posted a whisper in the group Over 40, which reads "My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people." Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks 4 I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. Love Quotes. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches. 100 characters remaining. — Philip Rosenthal. 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